There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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