I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Randomize
