9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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