My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
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