you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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