i need an iv and a liver transplant
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
