I never want to see another naked old woman again.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I have tasted many bathrooms
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Randomize
