Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
