covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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