I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
