Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
