It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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