she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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