I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
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there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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