Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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