I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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