Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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