dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize