we're chasing vodka with high fives
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
third nipple confirmed
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Randomize