i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Randomize