your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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