does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
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