you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Randomize
