I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
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