Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
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