Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
