You did not just play the dead husband card again.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Randomize
