it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
