I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
