haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
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