Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
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