She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
