what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
