I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
