Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
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