To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Randomize