The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
