I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Randomize
