Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize
