Swine flu is the new snow day.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
