a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize