If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
