Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
I seem to have left my pride at pride
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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