Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
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