talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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