I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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