butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
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