cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
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