did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
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The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
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You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face