My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Randomize
