It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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