I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
I'm going back tonight
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.