Texts From Last Night

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  (586): View more from Michigan

  the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable

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  (586): the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable http://tfl.nu/6hw3
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.

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  (519): It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night. http://tfl.nu/y7pe
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  (585): View more from New York

  even my farts smell like vagina

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  (585): even my farts smell like vagina http://tfl.nu/9cib
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  (575): View more from New Mexico

  I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.

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  (575): I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte. http://tfl.nu/ceno
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  (616): View more from Michigan

  I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.

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  (616): I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night. http://tfl.nu/m0ls
  Replies (68) Good night (2022) Bad night (3840)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems

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  (609): i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems http://tfl.nu/8tgm
  Replies (31) Good night (1483) Bad night (4768)
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  (765): View more from Indiana

  He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.

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  (765): He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something. http://tfl.nu/5hhc
  Replies (16) Good night (4467) Bad night (1782) Order T-Shirt
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  (601): View more from Mississippi

  Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?

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  (601): Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time? http://tfl.nu/q1z9
  Replies (7) Good night (2294) Bad night (803) Order T-Shirt
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.

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  (770): There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry. http://tfl.nu/klio
  Replies (9) Good night (3842) Bad night (699) Order T-Shirt
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  (910): View more from North Carolina

  there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....

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  (910): there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time.... http://tfl.nu/4vkt
  Replies (7) Good night (2869) Bad night (1105) Order T-Shirt
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  (623): View more from Arizona

  and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.

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  (623): and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed. http://tfl.nu/5lux
  Replies (4) Good night (580) Bad night (2529) Order T-Shirt
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.

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  (480): Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan. http://tfl.nu/ryui
  Replies (5) Good night (3106) Bad night (789) Order T-Shirt
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  (206): View more from Washington

  In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone

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  (206): In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone http://tfl.nu/jkow
  Replies (5) Good night (1774) Bad night (1326) Order T-Shirt
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.

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  (503): I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested. http://tfl.nu/ut9v
  Replies (1) Good night (1549) Bad night (920) Order T-Shirt
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.

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  (734): He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point. http://tfl.nu/zkwk
  Replies (4) Good night (1260) Bad night (518) Order T-Shirt

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