And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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