This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
No more Irish car bombs ever.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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