Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
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