And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
