I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Randomize
