quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
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