Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
