Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Randomize
