I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
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