wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
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