ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
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