he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
her vagine was all disorganized.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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